Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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