omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
