Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
FUCK WHALES
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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