What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
