3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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