I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
