She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
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How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize