The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.