why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so let's talk penis.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
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its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
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As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.