Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it