Someone shit on the floor
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious