why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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