Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize