nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
