My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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