I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize