So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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