ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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