Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
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I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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