Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize