I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
