ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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