Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
