Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize