so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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