he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
