strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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