Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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