He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
