I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
