im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want to have your abortion
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize