I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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