this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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