I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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