didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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