The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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