Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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