in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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