You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
