who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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