just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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