I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
