By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
