omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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