Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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