She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
