TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
