Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He shit in the fireplace
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize