It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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