he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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