I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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