I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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