last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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