Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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