hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
