the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
