I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
