her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
