Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize