I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
time to smoke my breakfast
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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