Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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