chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My pussy is not your playground.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
