it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
