I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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